Avoider.

I haven’t seen much of anyone lately. But what right do I have to complain if I haven’t made an effort myself to reach out to the people I seek? I’ve put off writing cause further introspection into this sordid thought trail would prove to be of more harm than good. What was it that allowed me to find such repose from the trials and tribulations of day to day life through these words that seems to escape me now? What is it that prevents me from pursuing the things I love, the people I want to see, the life I want to live? What is it that gets me through the day?

I found Justin’s card a couple days ago. We shot a couple texts back and forth where he eventually propositioned an outing to catch up. I didn’t have it in me to reply. I got scared. The thought of being put in a position were I have to be ‘on’ and ‘alert’ makes me uncomfortable. I woke up to find a slew of missed calls and messages on my phone this morning, and it wasn’t until before a nap I decided to send a text that I wasn’t up to it. I haven’t looked at my phone since.