Start of the day I received two texts from Anna. Both contained a picture of her cat and a mention of Happy Halloweens. One of them came attached with an audio recording with both her and her cat making "meow" noises. I deleted them.
This whole lyric writing and composure business has got me really striving to find inspiration. Though sad to say that all my inspiration draws back to the... well, I wouldn't want to say the happiest time of my life but it was certainly a very significant pin point in my happiness road map. Of course with that happiness came an insufferable amount of pain. Despite my passive aggressive behavior, she hasn't gotten the hint that I don't wish to speak to her anymore. Nothing personal, I just don't want to incite the possibility that she might mention me to Joe in passing.
I just want to disappear from them both completely. And who knows, maybe I'll hear from him again and we'll carry on. Business as usual. Nothing personal.
Anyway, I received a text from a number whom I assumed to be Sherry. It has asked if I wanted to go to Halloween shooters tonight. I replied if my thing with Wii doesn't follow through sure. I'll call you. "Eric wants to know what thing with wii." It was Eric's girlfriend. I really have nothing against her, it just seems to me like she's trying to hard to be something different. As if to say, being quirky for the sake of being quirky. Sort of a similar reaction to a ghettoized white kid from suburbia.
In any event, the next text I received was from the long awaited Wii. I had been looking forward to this day ever since he mentioned it several weeks ago. His friend Melissa was supposed to come down from L.A. so we could go bar/club hoping around downtown. However, his text would state otherwise. Looks like melissa isn't coming. If you have other plans i suggest you go do them. I don't know what it was but it made me really upset and very angry. Maybe it was the fact that this flakey attitude I've received from this Melissa person was starting to irritate me because her not being there trumped an outing with a friend. Maybe it was because it trumped our outing that irritated me. He had mention something prior to that about how he's been trying to reconnect with some of his older high school friends, which I was ok with. I know I'm not the most exciting person to be around, but it's not like I go out of my way to be an imposition either.
Either way, it sucks to feel like you're not enough to keep the people you care about satisfied. There was just something to the tone of his text that just set me off. I felt like crying. I was in class and all I could mutter out was a simple fuck. I walked out and collapsed on a concrete block fencing and just lied there allowing whatever slipped out of my eyes to fall. After about a track or so from Ef's Give Me Beauty... album I dusted myself off and drove home.
My sister, her boyfriend and I ended up going out to eat. I was going to call it a night when Eric's girlfriend called me and off I went to Shooters. It was pretty dead. Some type of grunge goth bar or whatever. We ended up migrating over to some other bar that had karaoke. I chatted up a tipsy Peter Parker and took a picture of him, which he was pretty apprehensive about. Afterwards we went to a bar/lounge called the Pink Elephant where Eric and his girlfriend left me with his friend Manuel. It was a pretty awkward between us. Both of us aren't really the skilled conversationalists, but he made some efforts to keep us both talking. He kept trying to push me on all of these guys whom he assumed were gay but I had doubts about all of them.
One guy, Richard, I made an effort to talk to. Small talk. Nothing big. Very cute. He had this boyish face, was tall and built but I could tell he wasn't gay. Turns out we grew up around the same neighborhood. He took Tae Kwon Do. Went to SCPA. Was traveling to East Asian for about a month on business. They hit the lights and we were flooded with blinding fluorescentness.
Afterwards, we chatted up a guy, first "dude" then "party guy" then eventually Stopher, who said he was having an after party at a house near by. There were a few people there, but they soon left shortly after. I was waiting for a time when I could ditch Manuel to walk back to my car but I ended up staying. He and the other guy chatted up the girls, Manuel managed to get a number, and I bought a burrito before heading home.
Pfft, Halloween.
I think there was like one guy who got the reference. But I didn't chat him up enough to make sure. I know. Damn me. To everyone else I was a nazi communist hall monitor.
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